And It Consumed Them
by jaree09
Summary: Trying to reach someone you care about get them to share with you, but their emotional walls just get higher and higher. Consumed is one of the best episodes ever. A LOVE angsty Carol. It was usually Daryl who was angsty this entire series, and this flip in characters really gave him a taste of his own medicine.
1. Chapter 1

Consumed is one of the best episodes ever. A LOVE angsty Carol. It was usually Daryl who was angsty this entire series, and this flip in characters really gave him a taste of his own medicine. Trying to reach someone you care about get them to share with you, but their emotional walls just get higher and higher. I had a hard time getting into Daryl's head, I searched for inspiration and found it in one of my favorite books by Jennifer Greene. Her Max is much better than my Daryl. I do not own Walking Dead.

Author's liberties- picks up right after this scene, except in my world the sun had just gone down. They have prepared to spend the night in the apartment.

And It Consumed Them

"You don't know me."

She's lashing out, and he gets it. He does. He has visions of the little pissy fits he threw, when she was trying to get him to open up.

 _You don't know me._

She wants to push him away. She wants to piss him off. And almost, for a split second, she almost did. But then, he almost had to laugh, because yeah, he did understand, and yeah he knew her. He knew her better than he knew himself.

 _You don't know me._

"You keep on tellin' yourself that."

Then he watched her walk away from him. Again. It seemed like he was doing a lot of this lately.

And he had no rights were Carol was concerned.

None.

He wasn't her boyfriend or lover, or even best friend. There was no defined relationship; he had made damn sure of that. She didn't have to say diddly or squat. She didn't have to share _shit_. And now that was eating at him, because he really really needed her to.

He had never been so worried about somebody in his whole damn life. Carol had lost it. Got her wires crossed. Slipped a screw.

He would have to be deaf dumb and blind not to know that Carol thought she loved with him. He knew for damn sure that he loved her. And that was the kicker.

 _Fucking love_.

It wasn't a grand feeling, it wasn't like some stupid ass romantic comedy. Here, in this god forsaken world, it equaled…weakness. Distraction. Death.

Anybody who loved her wouldn't put her in danger.

And he would **die** , before he let her get hurt.

And now, God damn it, he knows her too well, he can feel her pain. And it's actual physical pain for him. Every wave of her misery sends eclectic shocks to his heart. He keeps rubbing that spot over his chest, hoping that will help the pain go away.

It won't.

So she walks away.

Again.

And he follows.

Again.

She's broken, and all he wants to do is just fix her.


	2. Chapter 2 We Ain't Ashes

Chapter 2 We Ain't Ashes

Night falls quickly. Carol had spied a few things in the neighboring apartments, and comes back with some candles and a bag of beef jerky. They set themselves up in the master bedroom. Daryl lights the candles. Carol sits on the side of the bed, and quickly and silently eats.

Daryl's leaning against a dresser looking nonchalant. She knows he's anything but. His looks are screaming at her, and she wants to cover her ears to make them stop. Looking at him, he holds too much power over her. She leans back against the bed, hoping to silence his silent screams.

"We ain't ashes."

He's trying to help, she knows that. But he's talking about 'starting over', and that is the last thing she wants to hear right now. Starting over? She'd have to be fucking masochist to want to _start over_ and redo her life and live through all the pain again.

And it's a _lie_.

You _can't_ start over.

Does he really think, that she can just forget everything that was happened, and just… start again?

She's not the same. Daryl's not the same. They can't go back to the people they were before; she knows that better than anybody.

The only way she could possibly…start again…she'd have to forget all the pain…and that is not possible.

It's her pain. Her burden. Her cross. And she will solider on.

 _We ain't ashes._

Maybe Daryl's not. But she is. She's felt dead inside for a long time.

***...***...***...***

He has no idea how long she's been stating up at that ceiling. Daryl makes his way over and lies back beside her. He stares up at the ceiling hoping there is an answer there.

There's not.

Just plaster and an endless gulf stretching between them

After a few minutes he asks, "Back at the church. Would you have left?"

She takes a breath, turns, and looks him right in the eye.

"Yes."

It takes his breath away.

 _What?_ He knew it, he's not an idiot, but hearing it from her own lips? Funny how one word can fill like the weight of the world. And now, what the hell is he supposed to do with that?

Rick had kicked her out. She had been taken from him **un** -willingly. That he understood. But this? She wants to get as far as fuck away from _him_ , and he cannot make it make sense in his brain.

They always looked and found each other. They were each other's touchstones in this stupid fucked up place.

"You can talk to me, right?" But Carol makes no movement.

He doesn't know how much time has passed. Trying a different angle, he knocks her on her shoulder, "Hey wanna fool around?" He just waits. She closes her eyes and barely, so barely, a small smile lifts her lips.

"You're such an asshole." He did it! A smile! It was the first emotion he'd seen since Terminis.

He knocks her shoulder again, "We got all night."

"Shut up." She closes her eyes.

He knows, he knows instantly. This is not working.

He also knows that there is a 99% chance this is going to blow up in his face too. But he has tried letting her talk when she was ready; that didn't work. Honestly, he's running out of options. He's already batting zero, so what the hell.

He gets up and walks to the door, reaches out, and locks it. There is no one to lock out, but it gets her attention. She is looking at him like he is crazy. He shrugs his shoulders.

"Neither one of us are leavin' this room, til you talk."

***…***…***…***

***...***...***...

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